My problem is dealing with the self-harm scars, I hate it when the weather gets Best way to explain things, i feel, is to take the simple approach. . Quite a few years back on a first date with this gorgeous guy I felt I had to tell. There are things about dating a woman who has self-harmed that are a When these scars start to fade, it's a big deal for many of us, and it's. Privacy and cookiesJobsDatingOffersShopPuzzlesInvestor SubscribeRegister Log in Dealing with self-harm scars can be incredibly difficult (picture posed by The good news is there are several things you could try. While there are no magic creams to completely remove scars, there are products that.
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Ways to fade self harm scars and dating - Welcome to Reddit,
Communicate in a way in which you feel comfortable — while it might always be ideal to have a face-to-face communication about self-mutilation scars, that might not be something you are comfortable with, so pick a method that makes sense for you. You might start the conversation in an email or letter, although you will still likely have to follow-up face-to-face. And remember, you don't have to share every detail — only share what you're comfortable with right now.
Give the person time to process what you're telling them — what you're telling someone can be hard for them to immediately accept, so give them time to think about what you're saying. It's hard to hear that someone you love has been hurting his or herself and it's natural to act surprised at first.
This doesn't mean the person won't understand, it just means they need some time to adjust to the news. Provide education about self-harm — if the person doesn't know about self-harm provide a way for him or her to learn about it. Knowledge dispels fear and creates understanding. And remember, talking about self-injury scars may not go as well as you like sometimes, but that doesn't mean that everyone will react in the same way.
If the person is a minor, let them know that you will need to inform a responsible adult in their life such as their parent or school guidance counselor. Give them the chance to tell an adult on their own, and follow up to make sure they are receiving help. Offer to help them get in touch with a university counseling department or local mental health practice, if you are in a position to do so.
The person with scars is someone you know well and you are genuinely curious about their life experience. Before asking any questions, make sure you are actually open to hearing about their journey, which could be saddening, shocking, or confusing to you.
Keep in mind that self-harm can be a very sensitive subject and even someone who is open about other aspects of their life may not want to talk about it. There are many quotes about how scars tell stories, but I dislike such quotes. Scars exist on people, for thousands of different reasons, and it is up to people to tell the stories of their own scars, when and how and to whom they choose. If your doctor is not helpful, you can ask to see another practitioner.
You could take a friend or family member with you for support, or write down what you want to tell your doctor so they can read this if talking openly is difficult.
This may be ideal if your feelings of self consciousness and shame are affecting your daily life and ability to get out and about, work, and socialize. An alternative approach is not to ignore or hide your scars but to do things with your body to help you feel more positive and in control.
That might include finding jewellery that covers your scars. Or temporary body art with Mehndi henna where the act of decorating your body could even become a form of meditation or reconnecting with parts of you that you feel ashamed of.
Some people want a more permanent cover and opt for tattoos. But choosing designs and deliberately making your body into a work of art can feel empowering. However, if there are parts of your body you feel ashamed and upset about it is not unusual to neglect yourself or deliberately ignore parts of your body. Choosing to stroke or touch your body during bathing, rubbing in oil or creams to soothe your skin, or having someone you trust give you a gentle massage with oil that smells good are all ways to reconnect with yourself.
This may be a term you would also like to use. Rather than thinking of scars as shameful marks on your body, you rename them warrior marks — or some other phrase that represents these scars are a sign of your survival. If you hate your scars you may feel resistant to seeing them positively, but it can be useful to remember cutting was something you did that helped you cope. You may have scars, but you are still here.