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26 and 20 dating questions - More From Thought Catalog
We like the same bands, watch the same TV shows and movies, and are nostalgic about the same Saturday morning cartoons. You, on the other hand, sound immature and judgmental about both gender relations and age, and so it probably won't work out, unless your prospective girlfriend is willing to be considered milfy or a cougar, but she probably won't. This does not seem to be the case here. She needs to be dating someone more in her maturity bracket.
You need to mature some more. I would never ever date a woman and not be proud of her, and hide her from my friends, it wouldnt be fair. I haven't even asked her out yet but it seems like she wants me to. If I was in a relationship with her then I'd most certainly be happy with what she was posted by curious-mind at 2: If you want to date this woman, pursue that goal. That as a statistic men chase younger women, and dating an older woman is looked upon as failing to be able to compete with other men.
So far so good. He's not concerned about the difference at all. If you two really gel as a couple then people won't see a 5 year difference in your ages. Yeah, I think you're probably too immature for this relationship, dude. Cut this shit out. Anyway, in my early-mid 30s I dated a guy very seriously for several years who was about four years younger. The reasons it didn't work out had nothing to do with our age gap.
Where two twentysomethings can wait and see where things go, maybe get married, maybe think about kids when it feels right - a couple in their 30's do have to face the reality that female fertility starts declining after So if you don't think you want kids in the next 10 years, and she does -- the relationship can't work in the long run.
It sounds from your question and followups that you're focusing on a lot of superficial externals about how it might affect you rather than the heart of the matter - what is she looking for in you?
Gwyneth Paltrow is five years older than Chris Martin. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I know if I were in her year-old shoes I would want to know if I was seeing someone who used the word "cougar" seriously in any non-feline context, let alone applied to how others might view our relationship, has no problem with a double standard, i.
If she doesn't know, I suggest you tell her. She might chose to make this a non-issue for you. A 26 year old guy, dating a 31 year old woman, is it okay? I think it's just fine if a 26 year old man is dating a 31 year old woman. But, if we're talking about a 26 year old guy, I'm not so sure. Just noticed that 15 comments have been posted since I started writing.
I'm betting that I'm not the only one who is giving you grief about this question. Who do you want to date? Her or other men? It's a fine age gap for anyone. Best of luck -- you're gonna need it. OK, I'm here to tell you: You know the saying, "Haters gonna hate"? You, sincere internet stranger who is making a valiant effort to figure this out, are not a statistic.
You may plug into some venn diagrams every once in a while, but the value judgements you make for your own time in life need not be unduly influenced by lying numbers or hype and spin or anything other than your own notion of where the ship you and only you are steering is headed. Does that make it bad or a bad idea? I don't think so, but that's your decision to make. What people might think of you as a couple is just one of many factors that go into deciding whether to pursue a specific relationship.
It's not wrong to consider it, either, but talking about it in this particular way reinforces a lot of gross sexist norms so I suggest not bringing it up like this around other people or around this woman. Why do you care what other people think about your prospective relationship, or what they might think about you on the basis of who you date? While it's natural to wonder about the various consequences of a difference in age, I think your would-be sweetheart might be a bit taken aback to learn that you had to ask the Internet whether dating her would be "OK.
They haven't even gone on a date. I don't think kids need to be a factor in the dating process quite yet. It's never been any kind of issue. On the other hand, at the tender age of 26 I think of myself as a grown man and I wouldn't lower myself to taking advice from a bunch of bros in the comment section of a dating website so maybe our experiences are very different.
For what it's worth - not much, by the way - some women my own age have told me that the fact that I was dating a 40 year old raised their opinion if me. But you should not be using the identity of the person you date as a status symbol because it's repulsive.
My sister-in-law and my ex-sister-in-law are both five or six years older than my brother, and I don't think either relationship has had, or had, any issues relating to their age difference. I don't know what to say about your apparent internalized belief that men "should be" older than their female partners or they'll lose status, except a it's certainly a widespread cultural meme in lots of places, and b in my experience, cultural memes like that are usually obstacles to creating relationships that work for you, not for random TV gossip shows or shock jocks or whoever.
In that sense dating an older woman reflects well on you. Older women, because of their confidence and experience, also make better lovers. I would really encourage you to disabuse yourself of the subconscious misogyny you've indicated in your post and follow-ups so that you can be worthy of her interest.
Plutarch, in his biography of Marc Antony, remarks that Cleopatra met Antony "at the very time when women have the most brilliant beauty. Notwithstanding, what are YOU comfortable with? And the line about not able to attract a younger woman.. You fall in love with whom you fall in love with.
We had a lot of fun in the time we were together. Our work was similar, we liked the same movies, the same books, we had the same political views, our musical tastes overlapped. Eventually he was transferred to another city and that was that, but we had a terrific time. No one, including the two of us, gave any thought to the age difference, because it was never evident.
Except when he makes fun of 80s music. My question is regardless of your concerns, how is anyone even going to know you are dating a 31 year old unless you tell them? Unless said women looks substantially older than 31 or you look substantially younger than 26, your age difference is unlikely to be identifiable by the general public that's making the rather generous assumption that anyone else is going to care.
I didn't marry any of them or anyone else for that matter but they -- well all but one -- were great relationships, the shortest of which lasted almost 2 years and the longest almost 8 years.
I don't recall my age, or our age difference, being a factor. I primarily dated men younger than myself because those were the men that I happened to meet. I went to grad school at 31 and most of my classmates were years younger than I was. When I got out and got my first internship, same deal. I had more in common with them then men my own age who were already well-established in their careers, etc. Most of the time we found out each others ages after we started dating and it just wasn't an issue for either of us.
There are lots of advantages to dating a grownup. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time?
Why haven't you done it? What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? What do you value most in a friendship? What is your most treasured memory? What is your most terrible memory? If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? What does friendship mean to you? What roles do love and affection play in your life? Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner.
Share a total of five items. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's? How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Make three true "we" statements each.
For instance, "We are both in this room feeling If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life. When did you last cry in front of another person? Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? What combination of fixings makes your perfect burrito? Who is your role model or has had the biggest influence on your life? Do you have any nicknames? How many siblings do you have?
Do you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl? How long did it take you to start enjoying coffee? What do your parents do for a living? What are two of your bucket list items? Were you closer with your mom or your dad growing up? What is something you are financially saving up for currently? Where is your happy space? What is your favorite article of clothing you own? Do you have any specialty cooking dishes? What is one job you could never do? When is your birthday?
What is in your fridge right now? What are you worse at than 90 percent of the population? Do you believe in aliens? Have you ever been out of the country? What fact about you surprises people the most? What do you do for a living? If you could live in any other U. What was your favorite family vacation growing up?
Are you a big fan of any major pro sports team? What was your favorite subject in school? If you could travel back to any one point in time what would it be? What is the proudest moment or greatest achievement of your life so far? If you could be any animal, what would you be? Salty snacks or desserts? What is a family tradition your family has?
What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn? What was your favorite toy growing up? Who was your favorite teacher or professor? What do you like the most about insert city of residence? What is the craziest scene or event you have ever witnessed? What is your biggest pet peeve? What was the last book you read? When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? What was something that recently moved you? What skill or talent do you wish you had or were better at?
If you could have a superpower what would you want it to be? What are you passionate about? What is your favorite movie? Are you a cat person, a dog person, both or neither? What do you think is your greatest strength? If you had to be a vegetable, which vegetable would you least like to be? If you could invite five people, dead or alive, to a dinner party, who would you choose and why? What was the last dream you had?
If you could start a band, what kind would it be and would you name it? Were Ross and Rachel on a break? What was the first album you bought, and why did you buy it? Where do you see yourself? What is your favorite mistake? Who do you look up to of the same sex? Who is your role model of the opposite sex? What are you doing? What is your favorite book? What is your guilty pleasure song? What was a situation that you initially thought was terrible, but ended up being a blessing in disguise?
If you could choose a decade to grow up in, which would you choose? What was your first concert? What would your superpower be? And your superhero name? If you could live in any city, which would you choose? Could you spend a day without your phone?
What about a week? The Rolling Stones or the Beatles? If you could be a type of beer, which would you be? If you could live in any fantasy world, be it Hogwarts or Narnia, where would you choose? What is the last book you read? Did you like it? If you could have any talent, which would you have? What was your AIM screenname?
Why did you choose it? Would you like to go out again next week?